Two visits to France taught me something essential: The French suck. Especially French waiters, who despise me because I don't speak French (it's not that I haven't tried, and I still know that 'piscine' means 'swimming pool', but I just don't like the language, and if I don't like a language, I don't want to learn it, and... well, I just refuse to learn French. This is the main reason why you will never see me write a paper about Mari - all the publications are in French, and so I cunningly avoid anything that has to do with Mari... Mari is an old city, for those of you who don't know me well enough to know that as soon as I mention weird names, I'm talking about dead things from Mesopotamia and its surroundings). In turn, I despise them back.
No offense to any French readers. You are awesome.
But my dislike of the French is one of those preconceived notions that you know are wrong, but you hold them anyways - precious little prejudices. Same with my opinion that the US suck. Well, the US do indeed suck (no offense to any patriotic USAnian readers I might have), and whilst the USAnian president is outwitted by a dumb goldfish and lots of the people from there are... well, not exactly the most educated lot, not everyone from the US is stupid. Still, I like to pretend. Same with the French. I know they're not all stupid and despicable villains, but... I like to pretend.
This includes knowing for sure that nothing good can come out of France. Heck, they eat frogs and slugs. What kind of cuisine is that?! What kind of foul creatures do that?! Plus, I am still traumatised when it comes to the issue of baguettes (no, you don't want to know).
However, I have to admit that the French make awesome movies. The Hills Have Eyes as directed by Alexandre Aja already taught me that. Before that, Trouble Every Day (I'll write a review, promised) forced me to acknowledge that the French might have a talent for making movies... and now, Inside finished the transformation: I am now actively looking forward to any horror movie coming out of France. Damn, I am actively SEARCHING THEM OUT! The world will never be the same...
Ever since Inside came out, I read the stunningly positive reviews about it, but never bothered to watch it. After all, it's a French movie, and it's going to be tame. Pretty but tame. I mean... take this premise: It's Christmas, and a pregnant woman who is suppposed to give birth the following day is alone in her house, when another woman (only called "The Woman", brilliant. And I say that without sarcasm) manages to get into her house and makes her life hell.
No offense to any French readers. You are awesome.
But my dislike of the French is one of those preconceived notions that you know are wrong, but you hold them anyways - precious little prejudices. Same with my opinion that the US suck. Well, the US do indeed suck (no offense to any patriotic USAnian readers I might have), and whilst the USAnian president is outwitted by a dumb goldfish and lots of the people from there are... well, not exactly the most educated lot, not everyone from the US is stupid. Still, I like to pretend. Same with the French. I know they're not all stupid and despicable villains, but... I like to pretend.
This includes knowing for sure that nothing good can come out of France. Heck, they eat frogs and slugs. What kind of cuisine is that?! What kind of foul creatures do that?! Plus, I am still traumatised when it comes to the issue of baguettes (no, you don't want to know).
However, I have to admit that the French make awesome movies. The Hills Have Eyes as directed by Alexandre Aja already taught me that. Before that, Trouble Every Day (I'll write a review, promised) forced me to acknowledge that the French might have a talent for making movies... and now, Inside finished the transformation: I am now actively looking forward to any horror movie coming out of France. Damn, I am actively SEARCHING THEM OUT! The world will never be the same...
Ever since Inside came out, I read the stunningly positive reviews about it, but never bothered to watch it. After all, it's a French movie, and it's going to be tame. Pretty but tame. I mean... take this premise: It's Christmas, and a pregnant woman who is suppposed to give birth the following day is alone in her house, when another woman (only called "The Woman", brilliant. And I say that without sarcasm) manages to get into her house and makes her life hell.
Sarah is VERY pregnant.I was expecting something like a psychological thriller, maybe some emotional terror. I was NOT expecting a slaughterhouse full of gore, suspense and truly thrilling moments. Truth be told, I didn't even want to watch it, but the friend whom I mention regularly on this blog wanted to see it, and so I agreed, preparing myself for 82 minutes of boredom.
Let me put it this way: The man who, in a discussion about horror movies, said that the last time he had goosebumps and felt scared during a horror flick was in 1979 now cannot claim that anymore. What happened? Inside happened.
Seriously. Michael, Freddy, Jason - go and stand in the corner and hang your heads in shame. Yes, you too, Pinhead, as much as it pains me to say so.
Inside is easily one of the goriest movies I've ever seen. It is brutally honest with what it shows us (this seems to be a French thing - I already noticed it with Alexandre Aja). The camera voyeuristically sticks to what is happening, devours every single moment with greedy eyes - and makes us accomplices in this violent act of voyeurism. Nothing happens offscreen - we see with merciless clarity. Unlike Insanitarium, this isn't a gorefest, though. We get quality, not quantity. And when I say "quality", I mean "quality of the highest order". Honestly. Viciously good.
Something that automatically makes me happy was that the blood is absolutely realistic. Dreadfully realistic. Don't watch it if you can't stomach the sight of blood. Consider this an official warning. You might also want to reconsider watching this movie with your girlfriend (unless your girlfriend is like me), and I strongly recommend not to watch it with pregnant women.
Ugh. Pregnant. What is it about bloated bellies that makes me squirm uncomfortably? I think it's the whole breeding thing (no offense to people who like pregnant women, pregnancy or the concept of breeding more humans)... there are already enough of us running around, no need to create more of those critters. At this point, I officially want to send my best wishes to Chrisu, who will be sterilised after the next weekend.
Back to the review.
The camerawork is stunning, and so is the use of colour. I swear, the pictures are pure art. The soundtrack also is... words fail me. Classical music, piercing industrial noise that thunders through your mind...
I'll put it simple: This movie is beautiful. Absolutely, stunningly beautiful. And violent... very, very violent. And it remains believable the entire time, from the very second that the merciless brutality starts. Sometimes, you want to look away, but you just can't because you are compelled to watch what unfolds on the screen.
Also, I was very pleased to see Béatrice Dalle in this work of art (calling it a simple horror movie would be severely underrating it). I already liked her in Trouble Every Day, and she has been brilliantly casted for the role of "The Woman".
Speaking of the acting... A+++
A brilliant, stunning movie that will leave you sitting in the dark in silence for a while. Whether you like it or not, it will move you. Take my word for it.
Beautiful.
10/10 creative uses of a pair of scissors
